“Why doesn’t anyone want to date me?!”
A Question a lot of men and women would ask themselves whenever they’re single. The problem with this is that sometimes, we don’t want to admit why we’re being undateable.
Usually we’re more than capable of fully justifying our behavior, but the problem with this is that our behavior may not be completely acceptable to those we want to date.
So what is it that you’re doing wrong? Is there something you always do or say that deters potential partners? Is there something wrong with the way you interact with your date, with your friends, with other people?
10 bad social habits that make you undateable
If you’ve got no idea why you can’t seem to get a date, here are 11 possible reasons why that may be happening in your life.
#1 You don’t like to go out. You love the comfort and privacy of your home so much that the idea of going out there for anything less than a fabulous time completely puts you off.
It’s okay to be a homebody, that’s your choice. But when you’re all cooped up in your house, how can anyone even know that you’re single and ready to mingle?
Going out doesn’t need to feel like a chore. You always have a say in what you want to do when you’re outside. If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of going out alone, bring a friend and hang out in a quiet music café or in the corner coffee shop. You never know who might notice your presence and try to get to know you.
#2 You enjoy your “me time” too much to share it with another person. Me-time is important, but it doesn’t have to dominate your entire schedule. There will always be activities that you would rather do on your own. But for those activities that can be enhanced by the presence of another person, those can turn into future date ideas.
Keep in mind that by bringing another person into activities you enjoy, like walking your dog, relaxing at a music lounge or even shopping, you could potentially turn the experience into a more fulfilling and more enjoyable one.
#3 You’re too busy to date. Now this is a problem for a lot of people who are juggling two jobs or have a lot of other responsibilities at home. However, dating doesn’t have to take up too much of your time. What’s an hour or two once a week that you can spend with someone you can really hit it off with?
Many people tend to glorify being busy as they believe this equates to being productive. But if you really look into your schedule, which of those activities are actually productive to you? If you can spot those that aren’t really productive, then maybe you can reserve those hours for future dates.
#4 You don’t like to get all dressed up. Tons of people think you have to get all dressed up just to get asked out on a date. This isn’t true. However, you do have to pay attention to the way you present yourself.
No one wants to date someone who looks like she hasn’t showered in a week. Likewise, you’d be hard-pressed to find someone willing to date a girl who looks like she spends half the day getting ready. Find the balance and present yourself in the way you want to be seen by potential dates.
#5 You have issues from previous relationships. Some issues take years and years to be resolved, and you shouldn’t rush it for the sake of a date. But the thing is, you should also be willing to put in some effort to resolve these issues if you want to be dateable.
Issues about infidelity, trust, abuse and all sorts of things you’ve gone through in past relationships can mar future ones. So before you venture out into the dating world, it’s a good idea to keep these issues in check.
#6 You have crazy high standards. You know how some people say that you should date within your “rating?” Like if you’re a 7, you should only date those who are between 6 and 8. This may not always hold true for everyone, but one thing is for sure – don’t expect to date a person who’s absolutely perfect if you don’t do anything to attract people who are that type.
For example, don’t expect to be dating a guy who’s a perfect gentleman, makes six figures a month and looks like a cross between Tom Hardy and Brad Pitt if you’re going to act like a hot mess who can’t even handle any responsibilities.
#7 You rely too much on the opinion of your friends and/or family. Of course, they’re the people who care about you and want the best for you. But you also have to be able to make your own decisions, especially when it comes to the people you date.
Sometimes, the most sensitive of people can tell that you seek the approval of your friends and/or family, particularly when you blurt out things like, “Oh, my mum doesn’t want me to date a banker.” Or “My friends would totally like you, I can tell.” This can be enough to tell your date that they might end up dating your entire social circle instead of just you!
#8 You can be a wee bit clingy. In the dating scene, the rule is to try and keep it casual. Keep it cool and don’t act like a crazy girlfriend/boyfriend on the first date. But when you run into someone you really like, do you build up the proverbial fence around them to keep the threats away?
We know you want to keep this guy or girl all to yourself, but you have to realize that dating is a mutual decision. If your new squeeze wants to date other people, and you’re not even a couple yet, you have to respect their decision, or else future dates will be an impossibility.
#9 You can sometimes be tactless. There’s a certain way of saying things so as to not hurt another person’s feelings. It’s an art form that can take years to master. However, simply holding your tongue and thinking before you speak can help prevent you from blurting out things that might accidentally hurt another person. Rule of thumb – when in doubt about whether or not to say something that may not be nice, keep it to yourself.
#10 You wouldn’t date you. If you don’t want to date yourself, do you think anyone else would want to? The thing that’s stopping so many people from venturing out and going out with other people is that they feel like they’re completely unattractive, unworthy and undateable. This can stem from issues about self-esteem and self-worth.
It’s easy to say that you’re not as bad as you think and you should cut yourself some slack. However, you have to realize these things for yourself. There are ways you can increase your self-esteem, and it’s always a good idea to give yourself a little time off so you can learn to appreciate yourself even more.
Do this and your inner radiance will shine through enough to get the attention of people you’d like to date.